Category Archives: Your Best Self

Practicing Forgiveness

Original post December 1, 2015

To forgive a person, for a time in your imagination, be that person.

There are a great many benefits when we stop blaming and instead open ourselves to forgiveness. Blame is an investment of mental and emotional energy that pays no return. The same energy can be redeployed to deliver a positive return.

I am faithful to what I see as the common core of all religions, not as religions but as scientific truth. My hypothesis and conviction is that there is only One of us. And if there is only One Spark of Being populating all of us, then anyone who has offended us has done so because his or her experiences have led that originally perfect tabula rasa into a condition in which giving offense is possible and perhaps inevitable. This awareness makes it much easier to forgive.

If, for example, my friend, whose mother belittled him because of her own childhood conditioning, has become carping, surely I can understand and forgive that. If I am him, living a different life with different experiences that have made me less carping than he is but imperfect in other ways, I can have an empathetic understanding.

 To forgive all, be all. — Bill Harvey from Mind Magic, page 233.

If we can forgive everyone including ourselves for all the influences that drive each of us to become what we perhaps only temporarily are, it may free us from having to continue to be exactly the same today as we have always been.

What has already happened could not have been otherwise, since all events are merely the resultant of their causes, which are themselves events dependent on a constellation of prior causes. Everything happens for a reason.

We can become a more potent cause for positive future events by being less critical of whatever happened that caused us to feel resentful, and instead reimagine the situation, decide what should have happened and then seek to do that in similar future situations. We can do nothing about the past. The goal is to simply set new policies to put into practice going forward.

Guiding others to adopt more useful new policies requires gentility; often it is best to simply ask the right questions to have the desired effect. Honesty and gentleness are essential tools in this endeavor.

To forgive a person, for a time in your imagination, be that person.*

If you are having difficulty forgiving someone, create space for an empathetic perspective: set some time aside and imagine living through that person’s role from the beginning to now, seeing if we could have played any parts better, and which blocks are likely to have prevented them from seeing or taking these options Then figure out how to help the person get past those blocks. This of course also works for self-forgiveness.

Communicating in some way what is in our heart, and then letting go and forgiving, will at a minimum stop tying up some of our energies deep in our psyche.

Instead of squandering our energy by blaming or being unforgiving, seeing situations with an open heart and an empathetic perspective can lead us to more positive outcomes where we can realize solutions that are a much better investment of our time and energy.

Best to all,

Bill

*From Mind Magic, p. 233.

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Originally posted 2015-12-01 11:57:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Seeing the Miracles in Life

Original post November 24, 2015

Be grateful for all the miracles in your life.

Sometimes the miracles in our lives are more obvious than at other times. While the world is always miraculous, sometimes we see the miracle and sometimes we don’t.

Babies, kittens, flowers, stars, the moon, the ocean, mountains, trees, falling in love together, family, friendships — these are among the more obvious miracles.

We’re often unaware of the improbability of certain events that occur in our lives. Not being statisticians, we don’t realize how long the odds are of these events happening and we just go along, taking it all for granted, feeling that if it is happening it can’t be miraculous, it must all be mundane.

By tuning out our appreciation for experiencing all that is life, we may be radiating very little gratitude for all of the miracles in our lives. The Universe may respond by turning the dial on the lesson machine so that it bumps us a bit more roughly to get our attention, since we seem to be missing the polite subtle hints.

How can we feel gratitude at times that are trying us to the breaking point? By comparing the situation to one even worse. What if we had never existed at all? The Universe has created us, we are alive — is this not justification for gratitude?

All mystery schools and religions teach acquiescence, trust and gratitude as three sides to the same coin — the acceptance of what is. In Islam, it is called the Will of Allah. In Taoism it is called getting into the rhythm of the Tao, linking into the underlying force of the universe. The word religion itself comes from the Latin religare, meaning to link up. The word yoga comes from the Sanskrit, meaning to yoke up, like yoking an ox to a cart.

Let’s all practice replacing negative emotion with positive emotion — which means remembering what we have to be grateful for and what we have to look forward to and be excited about. There may be challenging (even heartbreaking) trials ahead but we need to welcome them as opportunities to show what we’re really made of and how we can rise to the challenges individually and together.

If you don’t already do this every day, take some time to count your blessings.

Wishing you much personal experiencing of the miracle you
are
in, and much personal experiencing of the miracle you are.


Grateful written by John Bucchino, performed
by Ann Hampton Callaway and John Bucchino.


My Best to All,

Bill

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Originally posted 2015-11-24 12:16:52. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Releasing Negativity

Release Negativity

Any time you notice you are not in your best self — making mistakes, losing your temper, feeling lousy or scared, whatever it is — re-set your mind by erasing everything. “Clear the mechanism” as Kevin Costner’s character says to himself in the movie “Love of the Game” (a film that shows what Flow state feels like to a baseball pitcher, as good friend Bob DeSena points out).

Assume that any sense of dilemma is a lack of clarity, that if you were thinking straight you would be accepting what is and dealing with it effectively, without negative emotion. The one thing you want is to take whatever life hands you and deal with it as best you can, and anything short of that is rejected out of your mind and body instantly.

At first you will find yourself re-setting again and again as you slip back into the old time-worn ways of mental hand-wringing, but over time your mental muscles will get stronger. Just stick with it and your positivity will become indomitable.

Best to all,
Bill

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Originally posted 2015-12-15 10:56:48. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Imagine Living Your Dream from This Day Forward

Originally posted October 13, 2015

Each of us is more interesting and exciting than any character in a movie because reality is actually happening. Movies are fiction, life is real. As exciting as fiction can be, real life is even more exciting.

Many of us have stepped behind the lens, watching instead of directing our lives. We may feel we have lost sight of the joy and excitement in life because of the challenges and complexities we face each day.

Imagine the rest of your life as a movie...

The first step to reconnect with the excitement of life is to connect with what we really want to do the most.

What is your ultimate dream or mission?

My life dream is to see really positive change take place in the world and to be part of making it happen. What’s yours?

”Follow your dreams” refers to your waking dream, your dream of what could be. And though our night dreams taken as a collection may seem full of disconnected seeming irrelevancies, we may find they sometimes contain clues about our mission.

      Where are you now and how do you reconnect to your mission?

Are you focused on living your mission in your daily life and if not, what would be the way back onto that radio beam?

On paper or whatever device you prefer, make two columns. In the right-hand column, articulate and write down the big dream — what you always wanted to be when you grew up or what you realized you wanted to be along the way.

In the left-hand column, define where you are in the plot trajectory. What part of the challenge slope still lies ahead? What needs to happen in order to get from where you are now to THE dream? And how will the challenge slope itself change as you focus in the direction of THE dream?

If you need more clues as you articulate your dream and plot your trajectory, try this: see yourself as a character in a movie, playing the game of life, the LIFE MOVIE. Recognizing that challenge is the mainspring of plot, look back at the main moments of supreme challenge in your life. See the ones where you caved. See the ones where you rose to the challenge, when you were at your best. In movies, we identify with and immerse ourselves in the characters that are portrayed doing some noble act early in the movie. Recall your noble acts.

               You are not only the director of your Life, you are 
               also the scriptwriter as well as the protagonist.

You will enjoy the movie the most if you believe you are up for the challenge and then just do it, setting your sights on your mission without getting too attached to the outcome. In other words, be happy in the trajectory, even if it doesn’t take you to the exact pinnacle you aimed for. Let it come out however it comes out. Stay focused on the dream. Do it for the fun of it.

Best to all,

Bill

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Originally posted 2015-10-13 12:38:25. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Ten Minutes in a Life

Passing on the light

As you celebrate the miracle of this magical season, may your heart be filled with joy and light, love and peace. May the blessings of the holiday linger in your heart and stay with you and your loved ones throughout the year. Happy Holidays!

Originally posted December 20, 2012
Volume 2, Issue 36
latest Great Being post

He looked up from the gas pump to where a moment before he had an intimation she would be, and high in the sky was the moon behind a pale shimmer of cloud, one day past full. Down and to the left was an American flag. Trees were all around. He suddenly realized the time was pretty good now. There was nothing to be concerned about that he could feel at the moment, no time pressure, everything was going fine. Then it came to him that he always assumed there was something wrong, some unrightness he would constantly have to steer against. He was thrilled at having uncovered a bad lens he could get discard.

A minute later, starting up the car, the lyrics of a song on the radio triggered a vision.“The dearest thing in all the world is waiting somewhere for me” (“Waiting Somewhere For Me” by Rodgers and Hammerstein). He saw a scene of indescribable beauty, something between a fractal and a huge mural, a panorama of infinite detail and intense color, the parts in constant unfolding and rotational movement everywhere. He couldn’t hold it all — it was overwhelming, filled with light, luminous, numinous. The words “Oh my God” began in his mind but all wording was pressed out by the overwhelming emotional wave enveloping him in awe, love, victory, beauty. His feelings united with the scene so that he was the scene, the beauty, the happiness, the realization that not “he” — now “it” — was past the need for words forever, past the possibility of unhappiness forever.

He contemplated the vision as he drove to catch his train. Several minutes later on the cold train platform he watched himself hurriedly extract a mint, his body still assuming time pressure, always assuming the need to get done an important job that had to be done at top speed because suffering would be relieved for more people faster that way. He knew this assumption was also a bad lens to be removed. More good would be done without that lens, too. And besides, in his day job he was not relieving suffering directly, more like paying for the time spent in nonprofit work.

That was the ten minutes. Continue reading

Originally posted 2012-12-20 13:48:06. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Being a Friend

Originally posted April 21, 2015latest Great Being post

When someone frustrates you or otherwise pulls you out of your good mood, what do you do? Play the blame game?

Next time, consider first how you played along with the event and therefore that both of you contributed to the bad mood. This perspective will get you more quickly to the levers you can pull to work on that relationship effectively.

open up possibility - Bil Harvey

Open Mind, Open Heart

Resist the temptation to demonize the other person. Realize they got to where they are through a series of events that were perhaps unfortunate and be glad the events in your life left you with more visibility, perspective and perhaps less closed-mindedness. Be open to all possibilities including that your behavior was the instigator for the events that frustrated you.

Resist also the temptation to teach other people — that is not what they want. If they want your advice, they’ll ask for it. What they want the most from you is simply and truly to be their friend. So what does that mean?

  • Warm, good feelings (love) — from the heart;
  • Be honest — in a way that helps not hurts;
  • Let them know you want them to succeed — even if they succeed ahead of you;
  • Share fairly with them;
  • Encourage them;
  • Help them see the brighter side if they’re stuck in the downside. People want to be in a good mood — bring yours and they will join you — that is leadership.
  • Brainstorm with them to creatively explore options that might lead to more success than their current route.

Continue reading

Originally posted 2015-04-21 09:39:13. Republished by Blog Post Promoter